Pop Top 40: Hot 100 week ending 8/27/83
originally written in 2017
Now, this is a chart, loaded with classic after classic. And some non-classics, because let’s face it, you can’t have a chart of nothing but classics — you need some non-classics to throw the classics into relief. The accompanying playlist, embedded at the bottom of this post, actually includes all 40 singles! Why? Because 1983 was the greatest year ever for top 40 radio. Go ahead, fight me. [As usual, contemporary additions in bracketed italics.]
1 1 EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE –•– The Police (A&M)-13 (8 weeks at #1) (1) — You get the sense that, when writing the lyrics for Synchronicity, Sting wasn’t in a very good place? Just think of the album’s singles: this, “King of Pain” (see #37), “Wrapped Around Your Finger,” and “Synchronicity II.” Not a happy line between ’em, really. But that worked, somehow. “Breath” — in its eighth and final week atop the Hot 100 here, and to be named the #1 song of ’83 at year’s end — caught the zeitgeist and didn’t let go, and suddenly the Police were the biggest band in the world. Such a superb single, so dark and menacing and well-arranged. Best bit: the way the chorus is sung to fade out at the end.
2 2 SWEET DREAMS (Are Made Of This) –•– Eurythmics (RCA)-16 (2) — Dave and Annie, together in electric dreams.
3 4 MANIAC –•– Michael Sembello (Casablanca)-13 (3) — One of Phil Ramone’s best jobs behind the boards — and fun fact, it would get knocked from #1 (to which it was on its way, for two weeks) by another, much lesser Ramone production (#12 below). Sembello was the absolute essence of a one-hit wonder, but oh, what a hit. This could’ve practically been a Moroder piece of work (like its soundtrack sibling, “Flashdance … What A Feeling”), thanks to its insistent propulsion. Sembello was smokin’ fucking hot in ’83, too. [When I wrote this, I wasn’t fully cognizant of Sembello’s history of playing with folks like Stevie Wonder, and writing for a whole host of people. He rules, and I highly recommend his late ‘83 album Bossa Nova Hotel.]
4 3 SHE WORKS HARD FOR THE MONEY –•– Donna Summer (Mercury)-14 (3) — First of all, that 1984 Grammys performance: uh, wow. Through presumably no fault of Summer’s own, NARAS was still staging the show as if it was a fucking Vegas review. Donna sounds sensational, however, and her band is crackerjack. As for the record itself, Michael Omartian gives it the perfect new wave/pop sheen, perfect for 1983 — I’m not surprised this made it to #3 pop, but I am that it topped the R&B chart for 3 weeks — and Donna, of course, sings the hell out of a solid, tough song.
5 9 PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ –•– Taco (RCA)-10 (5) — Only in 1983 could an Indonesian-Dutch, German-based singer who looked like a gayer Tim Curry hit the top 5 with a freaky new wave Irving Berlin cover. And the thing is: it’s not necessarily good, but it’s weird. And very, very of its time.
6 6 IT’S A MISTAKE –•– Men At Work (Columbia)-9 (6) — Better than “Down Under” [though TBF that’s a very low bar], but not nearly as good as “Overkill.”
7 5 STAND BACK –•– Stevie Nicks (Modern)-13 (5) — Stevie Nicks to the late Timothy White in 1991: “I phoned Prince out of the blue, hummed [the] melody [of “Stand Back”], and he listened … I hung up, and he came over within the hour. He listened again, and I said, ‘Do you hate it?’ He said, ‘No,’ and walked over to the synthesizers that were set up, was absolutely brilliant for about twenty five minutes, and then left. He was so uncanny, so wild, he spoiled me for every band I’ve ever had because nobody can exactly re-create — not even with two piano players — what Prince did all by his little self.” And from her liners to her ’91 comp Timespace: “‘Stand Back’ has always been my favorite song onstage, because … when it starts, it has an energy that comes from somewhere unknown … and it seems to have no timespace. I’ve never quite understood this sound …. but I have NEVER questioned it.” Stevie Nicks is a very wise woman.
8 8 (Keep Feeling) FASCINATION –•– The Human League (A&M)-14 (8) — They weren’t exactly prolific hitmakers in the US — this was the second of their three top 10 singles, along with a further trio of singles that peaked between numbers 30-32 — but boy, were they important. The previous year’s #1 “Don’t You Want Me” is arguably the single that made the US charts safe for British new wave, and (to some extent) with it, the second British invasion, which by ’83 was in full force (see #9 and #15, for starters). This is a delightful little new wave pop ditty which makes good use of the entire band’s vocals. And synthesizers!
9 10 I’LL TUMBLE 4 YA –•– Culture Club (Virgin)-9 (9) — Kissing to Be Clever didn’t include any US #1s (that wouldn’t happen until the second single from their sophomore album) — and amazingly, Clever didn’t get past #14 on the album chart! — but it did launch Culture Club’s career with a pair of #2s and this ebullient, upbeat third single, hitting its peak this week. If “Tumble” doesn’t make you smile, I question what’s wrong with you.
10 12 CHINA GIRL –•– David Bowie (EMI-America)-13 (10) — Also reaching its peak, the follow-up to Bowie’s uber-smash #1 comeback “Let’s Dance.” This isn’t nearly as good (and features some questionable racial politics); blame co-writer Iggy Pop. I vastly prefer its follow-up, “Modern Love.”
11 18 THE SAFETY DANCE –•– Men Without Hats (Backstreet)-10 (11) — I can’t hate this song; it’s too happy and too ridiculous and too Canadian. And you can dance if you want to, you can’t argue with that.
12 22 TELL HER ABOUT IT –•– Billy Joel (Columbia)-5 (12) — I hate this song. I hate its parent album, An Innocent Man. And for the most part, I hate Billy Joel, a pious, full-of-himself asshole. I don’t hate his entire catalog — just most of it. But the last thing I want to hear from him is a bunch of fucking ’50s white doo-wop pastiche. One of Phil Ramone’s worst productions, too.
13 15 HUMAN NATURE –•– Michael Jackson (Epic)-6 (13) — MJ wasn’t primarily a yacht rocker by any means, but remember: he worked a lot with Toto. A lot. They’re basically his backing band on Thriller, for pete’s sake. And Toto’s Jeff Porcaro co-wrote this, with yacht rock personnel from heaven on it. That’s precisely why the Beyond Yacht Rock guys (who invented the term) gave this a 95.5 (making it Essential Yacht) on their Yachtski scale. And not only is this yachty as fuck, it’s also absurdly plush. Yeah, pretty much everything on the greatest-selling album of all time is great, but this single is my favorite. And its use by SWV on “Right Here/Human Nature” makes that one of the ’90s best singles, too.
14 17 LAWYERS IN LOVE –•– Jackson Browne (Asylum)-8 (14) — This song a) makes no fucking sense, and b) is proof positive that Jackson Browne had no fucking clue what to do in the ’80s, apart from banging Darryl Hannah.
15 7 IS THERE SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW –•– Duran Duran (Capitol)-13 (4) — Slightly squishy by DD standards, definitely mid-table as far as their ’80s singles go, but that cold opening just kills.
16 23 DON’T CRY –•– Asia (Geffen)-5 (16) — Some bands can crank out the same basic record over and over and it works, cf. AC/DC. And some can’t quite pull it off, cf. Asia. Their debut album was the #1 album of 1982. Their second album, Alpha, suffice it to say, did not do the same (though it did make it to #6). This single is fine, your basic power-chord AOR, but it doesn’t have the fresh sound that Asia‘s singles (especially “Heat of the Moment”) did.
17 11 HOT GIRLS IN LOVE –•– Loverboy (Columbia)-12 (11) — I’ll just leave this right here.
18 14 TAKE ME TO HEART –•– Quarterflash (Geffen)-11 (14) — Do you want to harden it or take me (or you) to it, Rindy Ross? Make up your mind!
19 19 ROCK ‘N’ ROLL IS KING –•– ELO (Jet)-10 (19) — Jeff Lynne doing a ’50s rave-up pastiche in 1983? Yeah, hard pass.
20 30 TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART –•– Bonnie Tyler (Columbia)-7 (20) — You had to have a singer as strong as Tyler to sing this grand/iose composition (and production). And because she’s such a strong singer, she fucking pulls it off, while Steinman uses every trick in his book behind her, to the song’s benefit. One of the greatest #1s in a great year for #1s. And, of course, this song/video also eventually brought us the greatest literal video ever made.
21 26 HUMAN TOUCH –•– Rick Springfield (RCA)-8 (21) — One of Rick’s more rocking efforts, which befitted him nicely.
22 13 FLASHDANCE…WHAT A FEELING –•– Irene Cara (Casablanca)-22 (1) — Glop.
23 24 AFTER THE FALL –•– Journey (Columbia)-8 (23) — For every classic Journey single, and there are plenty, there’s one or two “huh?”s from each album. And this is one from Frontiers. [This is better than that assessment, but not by a ton. Journey singles shouldn’t drag the way this one does.]
24 29 PROMISES, PROMISES –•– Naked Eyes (EMI-America)-7 (24) — They flamed out quickly, but they had a real talent for catchy pop. Their cover of “Always Something There to Remind Me” was good, and this was 10x better. [I very recently discovered that John “Jellybean” Benitez’s 12” of this - by mid-’83 it seems as if he was remixing about 50% of the top 40 pop hits - features guest vocals from his girlfriend of the time. Who was Madonna. Now obviously I know that in mid-’83, nearly no one knew who Madonna was. But still: Madonna is on a Naked Eyes 12”. *headsplode emoji* (Also, the 12” is even better than the original.)]
25 21 ROCK OF AGES –•– Def Leppard (Mercury)-12 (16) — Pyromania is a great hard rock album, and they picked the singles from it very well: “Photograph” – “Foolin'” – “Rock of Ages.” All great, all top 20 hits.
26 32 MAKING LOVE OUT OF NOTHING AT ALL –•– Air Supply (Arista)-5 (26) — Sure, Air Supply recorded some real soupy AC ballad garbage. But they also recorded this triumphant, glorious Jim Steinman track in which they sing about “mak[ing] all the stadiums rock,” and that’s worth plenty. I love the absurd drama of this, and I also love that there’s no radio edit; you either play the full 5:41 or you don’t play it at all. Shame that this got stuck at #2 on the chart, except that it got stuck behind a superior Steinman record (see #20, above), so you can’t really complain too much. I dare you to listen to this alongside “Eclipse” and Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” and not to pass out from the over-the-topness of it all.
27 28 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU –•– Laura Branigan (Atlantic)-9 (27) — Branigan was a great singer (RIP), a belter equally comfortable with uptempo (cf. “Gloria”) and ballads (like this one). Years before Michael Bolton got his hands on it, Branigan ripped out her heart on “How Am I,” making it an all-time great song about heartbreak.
28 34 (She’s) SEXY + 17 –•– The Stray Cats (EMI-America)-4 (28) — Brian Setzer is a pox on music, because he single-handedly resuscitated not one, but two genres which didn’t need it, rockabilly (or some lame attempt at it, here) and swing (no no no). The Stray Cats were silly, dumb, and at their worst, gross. This was them at their worst.
29 31 DEAD GIVEAWAY –•– Shalamar (Solar)-10 (29) — I don’t know why the video‘s filmed in London, exactly, except perhaps that Shalamar was always bigger in the UK: to wit, this hit #22 pop and #10 R&B (interesting, because to me this is much more rock than R&B), but got to #8 in the UK. After the release of The Look, their seventh (!) album, both Jody Watley and Jeffrey Daniel (who, BTW, did the moonwalk a year before MJ) left Shalamar, but clearly, Watley stayed in England, as less than six months later, she’d show up as part of the chorus on Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” This Leon Sylvers production jams hard and relentlessly, giving Howard Hewett a hot musical bed over which to sing. And I love Watley’s Bananarama-esque style in said video; this clearly wasn’t her first visit across the pond.
30 36 FAR FROM OVER –•– Frank Stallone (RSO)-5 (30) — I’ve joked for years that this song is so damn fast it might as well be Hi-NRG. Well, it turns out, according to the website Song BPM, this goddamn thing is 167bpm. In comparison, Evelyn Thomas’s “High Energy” — a milestone of Hi-NRG music which hit #1 on the US Dance Club Play chart, as well as in Germany and Spain, and #5 UK — is only 124bpm. This song is also gloriously ridiculous, from a barely passable singer. And Sly’s little brother produced and co-wrote it! But most importantly, from Wikipedia: “WRAL-TV in Raleigh, North Carolina used [the instrumental] for their Football Fridays broadcasts during the mid-1980s, as did WDIV-TV in Detroit, Michigan for its Sunday sports wrap-up show Sports Final Edition, which is still currently used today.”
31 20 ELECTRIC AVENUE –•– Eddy Grant (Portrait)-20 (2) — Electro-reggae?
32 42 TRUE –•– Spandau Ballet (Chrysalis)-4 (32) — Early sophisti-pop, which is practically the British analogue to yacht rock. But goddamn, what a 180 for Spandau. That said, I bet that at any given moment of every day of every year, this song is being played on the radio somewhere in the world, and how many can claim that?
33 16 NEVER GONNA LET YOU GO –•– Sergio Mendes (A&M)-20 (4) — Syrupy AC fodder which deserves no more thought.
34 38 DON’T YOU GET SO MAD –•– Jeffrey Osborne (A&M)-7 (34) — Osborne’s sophomore album, Stay with Me Tonight, spun off a pair of top 40 pop singles, like his debut — but notched four top 20 R&B hits, fully establishing the former LTD singer as one of the new stars of ’80s R&B. Like with his debut, jazz keyboardist and smooth jazz pioneer George Duke was behind the boards, crafting a pillowy-perfect bed for Osborne’s soaring, sharp vocals. Michael Sembello (!) co-wrote this one, the album’s lead single, on its way to peaks of #25 pop/#3 R&B. It’s classically early ’80s R&B, cool and grooving at the same time; both Osborne and Duke can basically do this in their sleep, and we should all be so glad (about it) that they got together. My favorite record in this countdown.
35 40 KISS THE BRIDE –•– Elton John (Geffen)-4 (35) — Maybe the hardest-rocking song Elton had cut since “The Bitch Is Back”? Makes some sense, since he reunited with his early ’70s band for Too Low for Zero, which spun off the big hits “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues” (to which I’ve never cottoned) and “I’m Still Standing” (which is marvelous). The law of diminishing returns applied here, though, with “Bride” only making it to #25. That said, remarkably this was Elton’s first album to land three singles in the US top 40 since Goodbye Yellow Brick Road — largely a function of the fact that since ’77’s Blue Moves (and more significantly, his coming out as (ahem) “bisexual” in an interview with Rolling Stone in 1976, examined by good buddy Chris Molanphy in a great episode of his superb Hit Parade podcast), his chart star had been significantly on the wane here in the states. Knowing what we now know, this comes off as a more than a bit ridiculous lyrically, but still: it does rock pretty agreeably and convincingly. [And of course played a part in giving us this, which I now consider one of the great pop singles of the 2020s:]
36 37 ALL TIME HIGH –•– Rita Coolidge (A&M)-9 (36) — At its pop peak, a limp James Bond theme (if only it had been titled “Octopussy”!) with dreadful lyrics by Tim Rice, production by Phil Ramone (’83 was a big year for him), and a flaccid vocal from past-her-prime ’70s singer Rita Coolidge. No surprise that it spent four weeks topping the AC chart; this wasn’t a stellar year for AC. Oh, and if you’ve never heard it, you should check out Pulp’s rather bizarre 1997 cover.
37 — KING OF PAIN –•– The Police (A&M)-1 (37) — Lyrically, this is pretty goth, when you think about it. One of the highlights of Synchronicity, which is the album-length highlight of the Police’s career.
38 44 LADY LOVE ME (One More Time) –•– George Benson (Warner Brothers)-6 (38) — Before he was one of Hollywood’s scoring kings, James Newton Howard arranged strings for records like Toto IV — and co-wrote this George Benson hit (#30 pop, #21 R&B, #4 AC) with Toto’s David Paich. With Arif Mardin behind the boards and Kashif working on the vocal and rhythm arrangements (he’s also one of the backing singers), this pushed Benson into more of a contemporary, moving-into-the-mid-’80s R&B place (where his music would reside for much of the next several years). This grooves and swings, thanks to a very funky bassline (played by session god Nathan East), and the ever-nimble Benson’s vocals and guitar riffs. He even scats a bit over the bridge! Simultaneously light as air yet still grounded, this is one of Benson’s finest singles.
39 43 YOU’RE DRIVING ME OUT OF MY MIND –•– Little River Band (Capitol)-6 (39) — The final of their 13 US top 40 hits, this a) sounds nearly nothing like LRB, and b) is substantially brightened by a shit-ton of horns, including a prominent sax. The song itself is a big nothingburger, though.
40 25 SAVED BY ZERO –•– The Fixx (MCA)-14 (20) — My initial exposure to the Fixx was via AOR radio, in whose mix the likes of this, “Red Skies,” and “Stand or Fall” sounded incredibly deep. Did I mention I was also 12 at the time? Regardless, while the lyrics are fairly silly, I love the textures of this.